Why in god's name do I have a blog?

I really had no desire to have a blog. Although I worship at the alter of the "Fug Girls" at gofugyourself, I have always thought of a blog as something enjoyed by either extremely earnest nerdy types or really hilarious nasty people who want to drag the rest of the world down with them. I, on the other hand, I a nasty nerd who wants to drag the rest of the world down with me. But thats not the reason I have a blog all the sudden. It was forced upon me by my newly betrothed friends Cristy and Paul - who will henceforth be referred to as "the Craul entity". After having a lovely breakfast with the Cr part of the Craul, I entered their apartment only to pick up some boxes to pack away my paltry belongings before heading off to Ireland for a year (and that's a whole different story). The next thing I know, they have created a blog for me, called it Brookiemonster and posted a photo of me that can only be described as unspeakably ugly. Yes these people are evil and they are my friends.

And to let you know just how little the idea of a blog took hold of my imagination, the preceding paragraph was written a little over a month ago. Ok, I admit it. I spent a month carefully crafting each sentence, mulling over full stops and contemplating whether I should start using emoticons to ensure every emotional nuance is fully understood. There is something terrifying about making the usual shit you send to your friends by email publicly available. I think its because you are suddenly aware of how inane and unfunny most of that shit really is. So now I think I have to write like someone could be out there (god knows who precisely but someone), looking for a hot young writing talent to sign up and by happy circumstance stumbles upon my blog. Of course they mistake it for genius rather than the tiresome crap that it really is, and I am thrust into the spotlight, feted around the world for being, like, really good at writing stuff n that.

So I am not going to pretend that this is any more than it is. Some random collection of shit that no one, except maybe Cristy and Paul (and even then only because they accidently thought they were clicking on each other's blogs), will ever read. Quite a liberating thought really. Although I guess there is a statistical chance someone could read this so, unfortunately, I might have to restrain myself from slagging off anyone who might be useful to me in the future. A bit of a shitter but I'm sure I can work around it.

I might write something about myself in the next post.